Everyone has arguments from time to time - they are a normal part of relationships. It's how they are resolved that's the most important thing to ensure family stability. A stable family environment (whether parents and carers are together or not) is key to delivering the best outcomes for children and young people.
When arguments are managed and resolved there are few, if any, lasting effects on the relationship or on children. However, where arguments are frequent, intense, and poorly resolved, children can be affected in many different ways; they may feel responsible, become withdrawn, sad or angry. These effects can have many impacts including their ability to form and maintain healthy relationships of their own.
If you are starting to consider if your relationship is healthy, ask yourself:
Healthy Relationships e-learning for Professionals - find out more here.
Sometimes a relationship can become unhealthy or abusive. It is important to pay attention to your own emotions and how the other person makes you feel. If you are concerned about your relationship and whether it is healthy or abusive, there is confidential support available to help you.
The national Women’s Aid Organisation have some questions and guidance that can help you understand your relationship better. You may then be able to better decide if you need help.
The national ManKind Initiative is also available to support.
Visit the COMPASS website to speak to someone in Essex or phone them on 0330 333 7 444.
How do you know you have a healthy relationship? Ask yourself, ‘how does this person make me feel?’ Happy, excited, supported, loved, appreciated or sad, alone, jealous, worried, hurt or even fearful? This video co-produced by Essex Youth Service and SETDAB aims to support young people in maintaining positive relationships along with identifying and leaving unhealthy ones. The animation highlights five key messages, to develop healthy relationships:
Be honest
Be open
Be respectful
Be brave
Believe in yourself.
View the animation and further information.
“Relationships can be confusing. Especially if you really like someone but they do things you're not comfortable with. We're here to help you think about what feels right for you.” - Childline
“Free, safe and anonymous support” - Kooth
“We’re here to help everyone across Essex access the free information, support and treatment they need to stay safe, healthy and protected” - Essex Sexual Health Service
Essex Sexual Health Service Outreach and Education Team offer a wide variety of training to anyone that supports young people around their relationships or sexual health.
For more information or to book onto upcoming training please visit the ESHS website.
For more information about the service or to request in-house training please contact provide.eshsoutreachteam@nhs.net
The Essex Sexual Health Service has developed some videos for parents about healthy relationships and the importance of Relationships, Sex and Health Education (RSHE) and how to have conversations at home. There are six videos which can be found on the Essex Sexual Health Service website (scroll to the bottom).
Click Relationships - advice and information on relationship issues that can be difficult to discuss.
See it Differently - video scenarios demonstrating different family conflicts and how these impact children and could be resolved more constructively.
Essex Child and Family Wellbeing Service - information and support for families with children aged 0 – 19, and up to 25 years with special education needs. Advice includes support with relationships, parenting, child developmental checks and emotional wellbeing
Directory of Services - local and national services for children, young people and their families
Citizens Advice - information on housing, the law, benefits, work and more.
Family Lives - support and guidance to parents on topics such as pregnancy and birth, school, play, behaviour, health, bullying and more.
MoneyHelper - help and information on money such as debt, borrowing, budgeting, saving, divorce and separation, pension choices and more
Relate - support and guidance families and individuals may need about their relationships. This includes counselling services, online resources, and a live chat function to talk to the team online.
The Change Project - works across the spectrum of relationship issues.